This will be a list of notable knockout family incidents like the time when...
Budgie
Owen, thirty somthing. 1980's
Owen was very kindly
looking after the neighbours budgie - she was a pensioner and had gone to stay
with her daughter. Each day she was away Owen diligently spent 10 minutes morning
and night trying to add to the birds vocabulary by reciting over and over, "Why
did you leave me", "Why did you leave me", "Why did you
leave me", "Why did you leave me", "Why did you leave me",
"Why did you leave me", "Why did you leave me", "Why
did you leave me", "Why did you leave me"....
Hot
Hugo,
aged 7, Sept 2001. Burn Tommy, aged 9, Jan
2001.
Family was sitting quietly watching a film when suddenly Hugo yells out, "I
want a hot knob!" All eyes turned to him, and he couldn't see the problem
- but Tommy soon worked it out, "I think he wants a Hobnob" (a popular
British biscuit). "Yes, that's what I said all along" retorted Hugo.
A few days after having shown Tommy a silly little .mov of someone lighting
a fart I was in the office and heard Hugo shrieking hysterically from the kitchen.
Alarmed I dashed through to see Tommy on the floor, surrounded by poo, with
an electric gas cooker lighter in his hand and his trousers around his ankles!
Talking to Tommy later when all the mess was cleared up I showed some sympathy
for the inspiration the .mov had obviously given but questioned his judgment
over not awaiting for his bout of diarrhea to subside first...
Fire Hugo, aged 7, 2001
He just didn't get on with his form teacher who was known to exclaim, when the
class got too rowdy, "Oh carry on, I don't care I'm still getting paid!"
Anyhow one break Hugo found a cigarette lighter in the playground. He knew that
to possess one was a really bad thing, so with nerves of steel he took
it and smuggled it into the form room and hid it in the teachers draw. He was
quite sure the headmistress would find it there, and well, she'd have no alternative
other than to sack the teacher on the spot, once and for all ridding Hugo of
her.
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